Captain Purplehead

In Ireland, it’s perfectly legal to fall out of a pub at twelve in the afternoon, absolutely bolloxed from drink. It’s frowned upon, but it’s absolutely legal. In fact, you can sit outside a pub, spouting profanities at random passersby, whilst in your cups, and there’s very little anyone can do about it… legally. It is, however illegal to have a few sociable night time pints while listening to live music at 2am.
‘Ok, we all know that, Cap’n. What’s the fucking point?’
Ok, it’s ok to fall around drunk while kids are still legally allowed to walk home from school or just be in our view but it’s absolutely verboten, to have an extra couple of pints after a gig!
Frankly, it’s fucking ridiculous! It makes no sense whatsoever. The idea is to allow each bar to trade for 12 hours per day, as long as the cease serving at 4am. It would solve so much. Yes, there’s a drink problem in this country but it should not prohibit sense! It should not be a restriction of trade.
In the “boom” years, it wasn’t a problem because there were many departments that did nothing. Regulatory bodies who spent their time going for elevenses and passing the time on Bebo. Some even went on extended leave so they could play golf more often. It didn’t matter because we were rich beyond our wildest dreams. You could take stress leave from your job as a regulator - presumably because you were bored from having nothing to do - and still qualify for a mortgage you couldn’t afford. In fact, because you worked for the government, you could phone in a mortgage request.
The problem was, they never really had any idea what they were employed to do. “Well, my father is a councillor/guard/TD/banker/property developer and I never really had to work so he/she/it got me this job and its one handy fucking number”. And that’s fine; they’re wanking to pictures of Princess Lea while we’re paying their wages but not being over-charged. Happy fucking days! Have a nice, unrewarding life and free valium for your retirement, you pointless fucker.
Suddenly there’s a recession. All the captains of industry have been found out to be really scratching their own privates. We’re fucked, through greed and incompetence and a slavish devotion to cloud people and fear. “Bollox! We’re going to have to justify our handy numbers, especially now that our fathers/brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/grandparents are completely broke and under investigation!”
So what do these fucking, knuckle-dragging fucking stupid fucking moronic wankers do? They become pedantic. They don’t understand subtlety and the idea of a judgement call. They start raiding restaurants, pubs, shops and any other business they can claim travel expenses for walking to and they start closing them down. Yep, let’s regulate ourselves into deeper shit. Let’s fucking restrict revenue to the extent that we can put small businesses out of business. “Your kitchen is 5 centimetres too small. You will either have to pay to extend it, or close down”. Never mind MacDonalds who have perfectly appointed kitchens but no skilled staff!
“Me fahder was a gard, me mother was a gard and all de wans before them were gards and I’m here to tell you, I’m trying to make an oul name for meself before I get a plum job in Ballyfuckmesister and retire on a King’s ransom. Now, you miscreants are here having a pint, listening to a bit of live music. If ye don’t feck off out of it, I’ll arrest the lot of ye”
Fucking pond life!
Here’s the thing. I don’t blame them. They are too fucking utterly stupid and beholden to their culture of nepotism to ever get the point. These people are fucking morons. These people are utterly useless. They are the people who put people out of homes but give rapists and murders suspended sentences. Yes; this is Ireland, where 174 people served custodial sentences last year for default on loan and mortgage payments because of the incompetence and greed of our government, whose pensions we are still paying, and 4 rapists got suspended sentences. No time served for ruining someone’s life but a few weeks in prison for being foolish enough to buy into the lies that were told to us by our government. No, I don’t blame them. I don’t blame these people at all. They don’t understand the simple tenets of decency. They’re idiots.
So what is pissing me off at the moment? Well, the businesses that made huge profits in the boom, with inflated prices and admission fees, are now reporting new businesses to the idiotic regulatory bodies who are, in turn, quite thankful for the tip off, because they never would’ve been able to even form the idea of an investigation themselves. They aren’t reporting them for harbouring criminals. They aren’t reporting them for being troublesome. They are reporting them for being in direct competition. If they shared the wealth and said, “Let’s form an alliance, where we can provide proper entertainment but never clash with each other”, they would be fucking gifted. It would work. It would ensure a balance of trade, while providing a balanced variety of entertainment, where each venue could promote the idea. The main thing here is that, there would be trade.
The current template is destined to be temporary because Ireland will eventually eat itself through moronic greed. We don’t need a revolution as much as we need revolutionary thinking and behaviour. In all honesty, if we were to have a revolution tomorrow, there would be too many morons shooting off in too many different directions to make it valid.
STOP!!!! Think about the fact that you’re an idiot and try and change that. Just try and change the fact that you’re a fucking idiot. It all starts with acceptance.
Ireland is a stupid fucking country. Utterly stupid, with very little to recommend itself.
To finish, here’s one of my favourite songs.

I have a big problem with people who keep going on about having a revolution and it is this: if you ask them what they will do, once the current government is ousted, they just say, “Jail the bankers”. Ok, fair enough, we’d all jail Fitzy, Fingers, Drumm, Bertie, Cowen and so on but what would you do to get the country back on its feet? The stock answer to that seems to be, “Um, well, my mate Mikey’s a fucking great economist”. The portents aren’t good.
Lately, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are fucked without some kind of revolution and here’s why. Our politicians are telling us that the austerity we’ve been forced into should start to ease around 2016 or so. Unfortunately, they tell us this because they constantly need to spin this yarn so it looks like they’re doing a good job, come election time. The reality is that we face a minimum of ten years of austerity because our politicians are more interested in PR than anything else. In fact, if you look at some figures, without some drastic overhaul of ours, the IMF’s and the EU’s recovery policies, we could still be facing austerity in 2040. We will continue to acquire debt that we can’t afford to repay. Yes, one would hope that something would give in the intervening 29 years, but this is Ireland and there’s no guarantee that we won’t happily take it up the arse ad infinitum.
As you know, there are people who are a lot better at writing about this shit than I am but I need point a few things out in order to make my point. Let’s take a look at Enda Kenny’s state of the nation address from early December. Remember, this was delivered before the budget. He started by stating the challenges faced by Ireland: to restore our economy, to create the environment of sustained jobs and to look after the most vulnerable people in our society. A lot of people, including this gullible pirate, watched that speech and said; maybe they’re finally going to go at the people who actually have money in this country. Maybe they’re going to make sure that the working class finally get a break. Maybe this is going to be a brave new world for Ireland. Ok, maybe I wasn’t that optimistic but I did hope. Of course when the budget came in, it did the exact opposite of what he laid out as challenges in his speech. Surely he has just lied through his teeth to us then. Surely we can legally call for him to stand down! Nah, we’ll just watch Corrie and pretend it never happened.
Our Taoiseach went to great pains to genuinely tell the people of Ireland that the economic mess isn’t their fault. “You did not cause this”. Yes, but we will pay for it, Enda. Meanwhile, he is paying ridiculous wages to his advisors and has reinstated the cronyism he swore so vehemently he would abolish when he was running for election.
Do we need a revolution? Yes, we most certainly do but it needs to be an intelligent, bloodless and well thought out revolution. Can that happen in this country? Probably not. Why can’t it happen in this country? Because, unfortunately we are top heavy with idiots. Yes, I said it; Irish people in general are fucking stupid. Tell the people that we are paying 3.6 billion next year to bondholders we absolutely do not and should not be paying and they say, “ah, for fuck’s sake”. Tell them they can’t hunt and brutally kill animals and they’re out on the streets protesting about how their “way of life” should be protected. Idiots! Think about that €3.6 billion. Think about how much more good could have been done in the budget, if we didn’t have to pay that.
We have bent over and said fuck me to Europe, when we should have said fuck you to a lot of what they demanded. Yeah, we need Europe right now but there were actions that should’ve been taken but weren’t and the status quo, for those at the top, remains completely unchanged, unchallenged and unbowed by the very obvious challenges faced by those of us at the bottom.
I’ll leave this with Enda Kenny’s state of the nation address. If you’re unfamiliar with the state of Ireland, please take my word for it. This is a staged outpouring of utter bullshit. We need to make a stand because the system doesn’t work. The system is unfair. The system is broken beyond repair and these fucking dickheads are trying to glue it back together with lies and ignorance. This current, broken system will never work again.

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one shouting about the disgraceful inaction of Limerick City Council. Here’s an excellent article from a fellow blogger.
Click Here

If ever there was a time to shame Limerick’s local authority into action it is now.

My friend who was verbally abused by Jim Long has decided not to pursue the matter any further as the office of Mayor is merely a ceremonial one and a position of absolutely no influence over budget. I am in disagreement here. I feel that, in the case of the sorry sorry state of Kate O’Brien’s house and the impending Mayoral visit to the Spanish town of Avila to attend a street naming ceremony in honour of Kate O’Brien, that it would have a bigger impact if this issue was pursued through the Mayor. I am, in fact, annoyed at my friend for not pursuing this further through the Mayor.
I am advised that he will continue his efforts to get Kate O’Brien’s house restored but that he will take no further action in pursuing an official apology from Mayor Jim Long for the abuse that was hurled at him. Well, at the risk of putting our putting our friendship under pressure, I am going to print the email exchange that went on between them. I will not name my friend, as he would then be able to make me take this conversation down. If you aren’t appalled that a Mayor of any shitty little hamlet, not to mind an important City like Limerick, could be capable of such juvenile behaviour, I fear you will never be appauled.
This is the email conversation that took place.
Concerned Citizen:
To whom it may concern,

Concerned Citizen:
I, on the other hand, will not let this go. As for discrediting you, I would first have needed to give you credit. I have only offered opinions, which is not against the law. You know you don’t have a case and, while it wouldn’t surprise me if you didn’t realise this, your legal team will already have told you this. Please send me the contact details of your legal team. This has now become a serious matter and I will not be letting it go. You couldn’t offer a mere apology to me. I am taking this public so I need to speak to your legal team to let them know of my exact intentions.
Concerned Citizen:
I am still awaiting contact details of your legal team. If you know anything about Irish law, you will know that I’m entitled to this information. Please don’t delay me with this information, I’m a very busy person.

So, let the chips fall where they may. This is a disgusting display of bully boy tactics and playground insults and this is the Mayor of Limerick City. Mayor Jim Long has now apologised to my friend, albeit in a very off-handed way, blaming pressure of being - and I quote, “racist ELY abused” - for his negative outbursts. Anyone reading this needs to get in touch with Minister Phil Hogan. There is no huge outlay of cash required to bring Kate O’Brien’s house back to it’s former glory and the community could be engaged to help. Indeed, I’m sure that quite a lot of our unemployed construction workers would be only too happy to help out.

I was in an appartment in Richmond Court when the events of September 11th 2001 unfolded. It was an utterly unreal and ultimately distressing experience. Many people talk about the impact of the planes as the one thing that will stick in their memory but, for me, it was the people who had no choice but to jump from windows over the point of impact. Those images have stuck with me for the past ten years and I often think of the utter desperation of having absolutelty no choice.
The people who carried out the attacks thought that, on impact, they would pass through a gateway into paradise. They were idiots. They were heartless idiots with no concern for the innocent people they were killing and the destruction of thousands of families. The people behind it were evil; that’s a certainty. They weren’t, however, Iraqi. We know now that a lot of the planning and execution of the attacks was carried out by Saudis. Of course, America can’t really retaliate on Saudi, as they own most of America.
Where is the remembrance ceremony for the hundreds of thousands who died as a result of America’s illegal reaction to the September 11th attacks? Where’s the explanation that, while companies like Haliburton and Microsoft were making truckloads of cash out of government contracts, soldiers’ salaries were cut by over thirty percent?
I have watched some of the remembrance footage and it’s genuinely heartbreaking to hear widowed wives, orphaned children and decimated famillies, mourn for loved ones who were cruelly taken in the name of hatred but we simply can’t just say, let’s not talk about Abu Ghraib or the senseless torture of and murder of innocent poor people as a result.
We could start by disbanding Fox News and ensuring that their brand of bullshit is consigned to history.
Just a thought to mark a dark day from which very few lessons appear to have been learned.

I didn’t wish to go on blind faith that the stories I had heard of Mayor Jim Long’s aggressive and defensive nature were true so I decided to contact him myself. I contacted him, armed with a full understanding of the Derelict Sites Act of 1990, which gives the city council the right to contact the private owners of a derelict site and if, after a 14 day period of the issuance of notice, said owners have not acted accordingly, the council can then move on to the site, perform the necessary repairs and pursue the owners for the cost.
Mayor Jim Long’s first response to me was affable and friendly and he even included a startlingly brief document dating back to 2008, stating that contact had been made with the private owners of Kate O’Brien’s house. He suggested that they had had 3 years of negotiations which achieved nothing.
I thanked him for his reply and suggested that private ownership is not an impedement to the city council doing their work under section 10 - 30 of the Derelict Sites Act. It was at this point that Mayor Jim Long became decidedly antsy, leaving me with no recourse but to lodge a complaint with Minister Phil Hogan. Should I have no positive reaction to this complaint, I will have to take this to the local and national media of Ireland. Since this was my own coversation with Mayor Jim Long, under the moniker of Captain Purplehead, I am going to print it here word for word for you to read for your self and decide what kind of man our council has appointed as Mayor.
This is my opening mail:
Hello Mayor Long.
I have read several online posts about your upcoming visit to Spain to attend a ceremony where a street will be named in honour of one of our greatest daughters, Kate O’Brien. I am unsure how well versed you are in the importance of Kate O’Brien but I cannot hide my delight that she is being honoured in this fashion. Whilst I believe there should be representation, I believe you must be thoroughly ashamed of the fact that Kate O’Brien’s house has been allowed to slide into such a state of dereliction. I have conveyed my dismay at this, with accompanying photographs to the relevant local council in Spain and it is my fervent hope that you act on this immediately.
Mayor Long, you would be surprised at the amount of bad feeling that has been generated by this. I was surprised by the sheer volume of online articles alluding to this very subject. I am a Limerick son but I left many years ago. I’ve been home for a few weeks and I’m dismayed by some of what I’ve heard about Limerick city council. I must say that I’m also disappointed by your contribution to my home town. You and your fellow councillors do not appear to be in any rush to attend to vital work to cheer up our wonderful city.
I sincerely hope you listen to the public that you represent and see to the necessary repairs to Kate O’Brien’s house.

Yours sincerely,
J.P.

Mayor Jim Long came back with a very normal and friendly response:

Hi J.P. thank you for your email and your comments, firstly I am invited by the Irish/Spanish authorities as Mayor of Limerick, this would apply to any person who holds this office, I am honoured to be able to perform the Civic duties of Mayor in the naming of Kate O Brien Street in Avilla, I am a huge fan of hers for many years, yes you are correct her birth-place and home of her first five years is in a very bad state, I and at least seven other councillors have over the past six years being lobbying campaigning to have this property taken in charge and restored restored by Limerick City Council, I have received huge support front the City Manager, the Arts Council of Ireland, the O.P.W the department of environment, the Kate O Brien committee, and many others, I am in constant dialogue with Tom Quinilivan who acts as a mediator on a regular basis, NOW for the real facts of the issue you have raised, the owners of the property the Loyde brothers have being offered a sale price which was refused, many other options were/are before them for consideration ti resolve this matter, we as a council are engaged in a very lengthy process to act as the property is in PRIVATE ownership you should be aware that nobody/anybody can enter or carry out remedial works without the owners permission, having stated all the real facts I would be confident that this property can and will be preserved/restored as soon as the key players come to terms of rational thinking, as for the state of the inner core of my City, private ownership also plays a huge part of the problem but I am engaged with property developers investors trying to work around the ecominic downturn the very present recession and the uncertainty from the banks, I am enclosing an updated report from our property section to go some way in addressing your concerns, if you wish I can/will gladly meet with you any time you are in Limerick or maybe some hard suggestions that I can take on board. again thank you for your concerns. Jim

Mayor Jim Long was kind enough to provide the following information
Of BORU HOUSE/KATE O’BRIEN HOUSE

John Cregan
30.08.2011

“However, there are still a number of works still outstanding and there(?) are currently being followed up with the owners”. That is putting it mildly, to say the least. Since, in this document, the Council have admitted that the site is in dereliction, then why not use the full power of the Derelict Sites Act of 1990, which says: “Section 11(5) lets a LA (local authority) do the work:

(5) Where a person on whom a notice under this section has been served
does not, within the period specified in the notice or in the notice
as amended, as the case may be, comply with the requirements of the
notice, the local authority who served the notice may take such steps
(including entry on land by authorised persons in accordance with
section 30 ) as they consider reasonable and necessary to give effect
to the terms of the notice or the notice as amended, as the case may
be, and may recover any expense thereby incurred from the person on
whom the notice or the notice as amended, as the case may be, was
served and who is the owner or occupier as a simple contract debt in
any court of competent jurisdiction.

There is also no mention in the Mayor’s document to me that Kate O’Brien’s house is a protected structure, which it is. More reason for the City Council to go in and get this work done.

So I thought I’d point this out to Mayor Jim Long, along with some friendly advice.
Thank you for your response and I’m glad that some effort has been made. However, I believe that the Derelict Sites Act of 1990 could have been evoked more effectively. Surely there is no reason why this site remains in its awful current state. I may not live here anymore but I always take a great interest in my native city. The issue of private ownership is a non-runner when you consider the derelict sites act.
I’m sure you’re aware of section 10 of the derelict sites act of 1990 which not only allows you to take action in the case of Kate O’Briens house but states the the city council is obliged to take action. Words like “shall” are very specific legally. Eventhough I am an ex-pat, I am extremely coversant with Irish law. My suggestion therefore is for the city council to take this matter in hand and have a real start on work by the time you leave for Spain. This will certainly calm the wave of ill-will I have experienced.
Having said that, your reply to me was both pleasant and officious and I would humbly suggest that you use this approach to calm some of the, frankly, terrible feeling towards Limerick City Council and to you as Mayor. You have not shown me any reason to share that ill feeling but I have conversed with many people over the past two weeks about the City, its council and you as Mayor and there is a perception of you as an immoveable and boorish man. Again, I have no reason to share this view given our brief exchange but it is there. I hate to see this because for our city to move forward, we need unity. I firmly believe that once work starts on Kate O’Briens house, a start can also be made to repair the rift between the city council and quite a few of Limerick’s citizens. Thank you for your invite to meet but I will be leaving in two days and I won’t have time for that. In answer to your request for hard suggestions, I do not believe that there should be anything difficult about repairing the city council’s image in tandem with the repair of Kate O’Brien’s house. I would suggest a public meeting where all grievances can be aired in an open an honest exchange. Wonders can be achieved with light application of openness and sincerity.

Kind Regards,
J.P.

Quite pleasant and open, or so I thought. Mayor Jim Long must have thought otherwise because he immediately became defensive and even distanced himself from knowing anything about the process in his next reply to me. He even distanced the council from any responsibility regarding Kate O’Brien’s house. So you can see, during the course of our conversation, how he went from being a fan of Kate’s to saying her residence is just like any other house that goes into disrepair through neglect. Still no mention of the “protected structure” status of Kate O’Brien’s house.

Hi P.J. I relayed the real facts to you, maybe you can offer the City manager some free legal advise, as you have went about shooting the mesenger, I will however pass on your sentiments. I note that your reply like others makes NO effort in putting pressure on the owners where the real problem lies, would we live in a great Country where the local authority would move in on all vacant derelict irresponsible owner propirities do them up restore them and get a very thank you very much sir, perception of a situation dose NOT hide the real facts,Jim

At this response, I was well within my rights to let loose but I still held fire because, remember, the purpose of this is to get something done with Kate O’Brien’s house, not antagonise Mayor Jim Long. So I replied:

My apologies if my response came through as aggressive. It was not meant that way and I certainly didn`t expect such a hostile response. This now seems to coroborate what others have told me about their dealings with you. I have supplied you with facts, sir. I have provided you with an extract from the Derelict Site Act of 1990, by which you are bound. Yes, it would be great to put pressure on the owners but I don`t have their contact details. You are the first citizen of this city and, as such, should be someone I should be able to approach without fear of reproach. I honestly fear now that you are not and I am more than insulted by your response. I may no longer reside in Limerick but it is still in my heart. Surely the most important thing is that this historic site is preserved.
As for free legal advice, I believe I have given you that in my perusal of, and reference to, the aforementioned act. I will not continue with these mails to you as I don’t think you are someone who changes his position on anything. That, I fear, is an ailment that runs through Irish politics. I sincerely hope that on my next visit to my home town that I don’t have to look at an eyesore that should stand in proud remembrance of one of Limerick’s finest exports.
I do reserve my right to agree with those who have given, what is now clearly, accurate testimony of your staunchly defensive manner and to support them in any way I can.
Good day to you sir, and with the greatest respect I can muster, it is my fervent hope that the next incumbent is more approachable than you have been.

Mayor Jim Long, now clearly in full denial of the facts and of me as a relevant complainant simply replied.
Eye. Eye, Captain

This seemed to indicate an end to proceedings but, ever the one to get the last word in, I decided a few home truths and some advice on my future course of action.
You really are a petty man. I was hoping to help to get something done with Kate O’brien’s house but I’m clearly wasting my time talking to you about it. I should probably speak to someone who is actually capable of having a conversation. I must say, speaking to you has not helped matters and is not helping my high blood pressure, something that gave rise to the moniker to which you have just referred. I leave on Tuesday but I will be keeping a close eye on everything that is happening with Kate’s house. Since I have been met with bluster and nonsense from you, I will lodge my complaint directly with Minister Hogan and supply him with a full breakdown of the Derelict Site Act. This is the last mail I shall send you.

I was sure this was to be the last of it and promptly sent a complaint to Minister Phil Hogan about the state of Kate O’Brien’s house and the state of the current Mayor of Limerick City. I wasn’t expecting another response from Mayor Jim Long but he sent this:
AS you leave on Tuesday, I can meet you any time tomorrow between 9.30am and 5.30pm, I will request the file I will ask the property, environmental, and ma

Now, I haven’t curtailed that mail, that is how it arrived. I took it as a normal mail and sent this diplomatic response. I must admit that my first instinct was to tell him to fuck off but I have asked that people refrain from using abusive language in their dealings with him so I wasn’t about to start and it would have been counter-productive anyway. Here’s my response:
That is very kind of you, Mayor, but I won’t have time to meet you. I’m not sure, given your earlier comments, that it would be a particularly productive meeting. The Derelict Sites Act allows Limerick City Council to proceed in renovating and preserving Kate O’Brien’s house. This is something I’ve followed up with several friends of mine in the local legal profession. I’m genuinely at a loss as to why this hasn’t been acted upon already as you can act within 14 days of issuance of notice. I am aware that this is not your sole responsibility and that you may be coming in for some flack as you are the Mayor chosen to go to the street naming ceremony. Failure to act with the full power bestowed upon you by the aforementioned act is the responsibility of the entire Limerick City Council, not just you. Blame must also be staunchly apportioned to the people who own the property but it is now time to act.
Mayor, there is a massive groundswell of disgust at the state of Kate O’Brien’s house. It’s all people have talked to me about since I’ve been home. This passion may seem to you to be some kind of persecution of your office but I would suggest that you are better served conversing with these people than abusing them. I have seen a couple of different email conversations with people where you have become defensive and downright abusive and threatening. This I can understand, in a way, because I can imagine you are being bombarded with correspondence. However, a man holding office as high as yours needs to be far more diplomatic than you have been. This is just a suggestion and is in no way meant to be a slight on you as a person. This is a justified observation, given the evidence before me. My suggestion to you would be to contact all of the people who have emailed you about this, ask for a clean slate on all sides and meet with the purpose of pushing forward a resolution. It does not mean the Council goes around doing up every private house that has fallen into dereliction, as you have suggested earlier in our conversation. I would suggest that Kate O’Brien’s house should be considered more of a monument to someone who put us on the map in a very positive way. I have contacted Phil Hogan to see if there’s anything that can be done from his side.
Before I finish this mail, I will say that I’ve no interest in hearing anymore of your defensive comments. I am passionate about this subject to the point where I’ve spent much of my holidays in meetings with reputable engineers and solicitors, with whom I am acquainted,
to better understand what can be done in this instance.

Mayor Jim Long is more than welcome to comment on this site but I must advise that the administrators of this site claim absolutely no responsibility for the views of people replying to his comments. I will continue the fight to get something done with Kate O’Brien’s house because its lapse into dereliction is an embarrassment to Limerick City. Be under no illusion that Limerick City Council HAS the resources, both legal and actual, to deal with this. I think you can see from this conversation that they have no intention of doing so. So, again, I urge you to email the Mayor’s office respectfully and demand that they do something. Do not hurl abuse at him and do not enter into arguments with him. If you wish to post any responses you have received, put them in the comments section and I will paste them into the main part of this post.
Let’s make our local authority do their job!
UPDATE
Mayor Jim Long has responded to my last mail to wish me a safe trip home. I have no idea what calmed him down but I do appreciate the sentiment. I will reiterate that, should you contact the Mayor, please treat him with the respect his office deserves. If you are greeted with abuse, I’ll leave that up to yourselves. As for the comments asking me to publish the other email conversation, which I must tell you is a hundred times worse than the one above, it is out of my hands. I agree that any legal action from my friend would be pointless and I’ve told him this but, until he tells me I can go ahead, I must respect his trust. Further, if you are complaining Mayor Jim Long to Minister Hogan, please be professional, candid and polite in your approach. We are speaking for Limerick here and we don’t need to give anything other than a good impression.

Mayor of Limerick, Jim Long, is heading over to Spain to attend a street naming ceremony in honour of Limerick author, Kate O’Brien. Nothing particularly wrong with this. It’s good that there’s a representative from Limerick in attendance and that person should be the Mayor of Limerick. It shouldn’t, however, be Jim Long. I have been sent a transcript of an email conversation that one Limerick citizen had with Jim Long. It takes a lot to shock the ol Cap’n but the abject ignorance, stupidity, aggression, bullying and an alarming inability to spell on Jim Long’s behalf has left me a little slackjawed in surprise. But I’ll get to that in a while. Why bring up the Spanish visit? Well, the problem is that Kate O’Brien’s house here in Limerick has been allowed to fall into a shocking state of dereliction. It has been set on fire a few times and it is a monument to Limerick City Council’s apathy towards the City it is supposed to represent. If you were to challenge Jim Long on this subject, he will readily inform you that the house is privately owned and, therefore, outside the responsibility of Limerick City Council. This is, however, incorrect. Yes it is privately owned but it is NOT outside the responsibility of Limerick City Council.
Extract from Derelict Sites Act 1990.
10.—It shall be the duty of a local authority to take all reasonable
steps (including the exercise of any appropriate statutory powers) to
ensure that any land situate in their functional area does not become
or continue to be a derelict site.
There you go. How long has Kate O’Brien’s house been in this state? Years. Yep, Jim Long has passed by this derelict site regularly but, in fairness to him, probably didn’t know whose house it was. To an active and functioning City Council, this wouldn’t matter because they would have stepped in and made the necessary repairs. Here’s a picture of the current state of Kate O’Brien’s House.

Jim Long is proud to accept the invite of the Spanish local authority to attend the street naming ceremony in honour of Kate O’Brien but does not appear to care about the eyesore her house has become. Strange that. Well, not really. We’re used to such double standards from Limerick City Council. I will be posting further about this scandal but I’m going to keep this one brief.
The transcript of the email conversation that I have been sent is absolutely shocking. The Mayor of Limerick City hurled abuse that you would probably not hear from a schoolyard bully at someone who appears to simply want to ensure that local government is doing their job. I can’t currently print the contents of this conversation as there are legal proceedings in progress. I can assure you that, once I get clearance, it will be printed in its entirety. I will also be contacting the Mayor myself in the coming days to question him about what is going to happen with Kate O’Brien’s house. I’m going to dedicate my next few posts to this subject.
If you wish to contact the Mayor, his email address is available on the Limerick City Council website. I urge you to question Jim Long about his inactivity on this and other issues. I would also urge you not to use any foul or abusive language in your communication with him. Use facts. Do not level false accusations at him. If you have any pertinent evidence, that is completely different but you will only play into his hands by abusing him. He is quite abusive himself. Abusive and utterly childish. I can’t stress this enough; please use your communication with the Mayor cleverly and with respect. From the conversation I’ve viewed, he does not seem to be a particularly pleasant individual. He met intelligently worded emails with abuse and bullying. When this conversation is eventually published, you will not believe it. If you have had similar experiences with him, please send them on. Once verified, I will publish them. I’m reliably informed that several articles are already being drafted, waiting for the go ahead to print.

Yep, it’s that simple and there are a variety of reasons for it. Hopefully this will be a short enough post. I’m not going to go into some conspiracy theory fuelled rant; I’m simply going to give you the facts as I see them and my reasons for this bleak statement.
Ok, firstly there’s the financial situation. A lot of greedy cunts took a lot of stupid gambles and, while they retain their opulent standards, we have to pick up the bill for their utter idiocy and greed. The reason this doesn’t change is not because we must rely on people to fix the economy but because we have to rely on the same thick, arse reaming, fucking morons who broke it in the first place. Look at it this way:
You bring your car to a mechanic, citing problems with the brakes.
The mechanic gives you back your car and tells you he’s not only fixed it but he has improved the whole braking system. To be sure of this, he passed it by his boss to quality check his work and he signed it off as fucking perfect and the mechanic got a big juicy raise and a bonus for a job well done.
Later that day, you are travelling right on the speed limit when a truck jack-knifes ahead of you. You have plenty of time to stop so you apply your new improved braking system but it fails utterly and you lose an arm and a leg in the resultant crash.
Do you go back to that mechanic and ask him to fix it again or do you report him, his boss and the entire company for criminal fucking negligence?
If we follow this analogy to its conclusion, the mechanic, his boss and his company get a cash injection from the government and you get to pay back investors who gambled on the competence of the company. You also get to pay for the truck you crashed into after you’ve cleaned up the mess from the wreckage.
Are we fucked? Are you with me yet?

So, ok, that’s nothing new. We all know we’re fucked financially. We all know we’ll continue to be fucked by our leaders. But we’re fucked in a whole different way too.
If some fucking nutjob Islamic fundamentalist wants to prove a point, he will normally blow up a lot of innocent people who he considers to be infidels. Yep, you guessed it, it’s us.
If some fucking nutjob, Christian fundamentalist wants to prove a point to Islamic fundamentalists, he blows up and shoots people who he considers responsible for inviting too many cultures, including Muslims, into the west. Yep, you guessed it, it’s us again!

We can’t fucking win!

Ok, I feel that posting lupins in an earlier post worked in heading off those easliy offended from reading what lay beneath the picture. Unfortunately, today’s particular bug bear is a lot more potent than the previous one and so I feel that lupuns might not be sufficient distraction. To this end I’ve decided to go with chrysantemums. So, if you’re easily offended by aggressive, heartfelt, deep and varied profanity, I suggest you just take a look at these lovely flowers and then fuck off and read one of Ronan Keatings biographies or something. Follow that by a light lunch and a soak in a bubble bath before snuggling up to your favourite teddy bear and pretending everything’s ok with the world.

There you go. Now, if you’re still reading this after the very clear warning above… well, you’re a fucking moronic cunt, aren’t ya. There will be no more warnings.
Here’s a couple of perfectly acceptable jokes to illustrate the points I’m about to make:
Q. Why did the Paddy stick a screw driver in his eye?
A. Because he’s a thick Irish fucking cunt”.

An Irishman walks into a bar. The barman says, “Fuck off, you fucking Irish moron”.

Aghast, are you? Well you shouldn’t be. Ireland is now officially a fucking joke. Not just that, we’re intent on letting the world know that we’re thick fucking cunts.

The Queen recently visited Ireland and I’ve nothing against that. I wasn’t all that interested but I think it was a good thing. Nothing at all to say on that. Yes there were a few thick fucking cunts who protested but, what do you expect, they’re Irish. She spoke to us in Irish and she even ignored her doddering racist husband and all went well from a British point of view. What went wrong was when we decided to entertain her. Mary Byrne is an slightly above average pub singer but she’s not an artist and she doesn’t write her own material, yet she was chosen to entertain the Queen. Similarly, Westlife, who in any other country would have been reminded long before now that their fifteen annoying fucking minutes is well and truly fucking up, aren’t artists. They’re manufactured by the evil gimp, Louis Walsh and they too were chosen to entertain the Queen.
No big deal you might say, if you’re a thick Irish cunt. Y’know, you might be right. For all I know the Queen got a wet on for the lads, I don’t fucking know. Maybe she secretly listens to Cradle of Filth or Megadeath behind closed doors. That isn’t the point though. We had a chance to celebrate our creative culture but we decided to wheel out those who haven’t contributed anything whatsoever.
Ok, so Obama comes to visit. Now we must be reserving particular hatred for him because, in addition to Westlife, we are inflicting The Saw Doctors and Jedward on him and his wife. For fuck’s sake! What in the name of fuck is going on in this fucking country? Is that the impression we want to give the world? Representatives of the two countries who gave us the best popular music ever are treated to two fucking prancing clowns and a shower of fucking smarmy, plastic morons? Really? I mean what fucking arse reaming son of a bastarding cunt came up with that fucking idea? Ok, I don’t like the Saw Doctors but they could - and did - choose worse.
England gave us The Beatles, The Stones and so many other brilliant fucking bands and we give the fucking Jedward? There are actual artists in this country but it must have escaped our attention because we’re THICK FUCKING IRISH CUNTS!
America gave us so much more. Elvis, Johnny Cash, Hendrix and countless other musical lumiaries and we give them four preening fucking maggots singing covers of songs that Bette Midler covered? Is this really the best we could’ve done?
I don’t give a fucking toss about Obama’s politics or the pointlessness of the Queen; the eyes of the world have been on Ireland and what is the best we can come up with in terms of cultural entertainment? THICK IRISH FUCKING CUNTS!

It’s election time here in Ireland and, yet again, the choices are woeful and the voting public is made up of too many morons for us to achieve any real change. There, I said it. Please feel free to tell any Paddy jokes you wish. We deserve it.
Why am I slagging off my own people? Well, we have an antiquated political system that leans towards those who have more financial backing than others. The very real result of this is that our governments continue to return political favours so the whole corrupt mess is perpetuated.
We have two basic parties in Ireland; Fianna Gaelfail and Labour but they are presented as three - Fianna Fail, Fine Gael and Labour. FF and FG are identical twins who don’t get on with each other and Labour has been out in the cold so long that it is of little use.
We do have some independents, a Green Party - (the “green” however, represents naivety rather than ecological concerns) - and a former political wing of a savage paramilitary organisation called Sinn Fein. With the possible exception of Labour and the Greens, every other party was forged in a fire of corruption. Sinn Fein were complicit in murder and protection rackets in Northern Ireland, while they were the political mouthpiece for the IRA, Fianna Fail basically started raping mother Ireland from its inception and Fine Gael fed on whatever throwbacks came its way. Labour kind of floundered around trying and failing to be left wing and the Green Party eventually embraced corruption after getting into bed with Fianna Fail.
Ok, I hope I haven’t lost you at this stage. To give you an example of the insipid corruption from which Fianna Fail sprung, its first leader Dev, arranged for the murder of our most passionate freedom fighter, Michael Collins. Y’see at the time, and up until very recently, our education system centred on hating the British. To illustrate this, our first leader - Dev (Eamon De Valera) - signed the book of condolence for Adolf Hitler. To illustrate the ineptitude of another leader, the much beloved Jack Lynch, he closed down timber mill around the country because he saw that we had a surplus of timber. What did he do? He sold that timber for £1 per ton and then bought it back at a couple of hundred times the price as chipboard and other timber derivatives. Sinn Fein gave voice to people who thought nothing of blowing up innocent people to make a point and Labour, well; they just kind of floundered around, trying and failing to be left wing.
John Gormley - leader of the Green Party - is now saying that he was the first to call for a unity government. Well he didn’t call too loudly because it never happened and he helped to sign away ours and many future generations in order to pay off wealthy speculators’ gambling debts.
Ok, here’s the thing. Not one of our politicians is a professional economist yet, despite the calls from leading economists that the bail out of our banks and the bondholders who gambled on us was not only folly but ridiculously and dangerously stupid, they went ahead with it and now our country is absolutely fucked. Did the opposition parties try to stop this ludicrous action? Nope, they signed it away along with our hopes and our future - we still have our dreams but they’re largely unrealistic now.
If you go to a doctor with a cold and he amputates both your arms and your legs and accidentally gouges out your eyes, you’re not going to go back to that doctor the next time you have a cold. In fact, that doctor would most likely never practice medicine again. If that doctor also harvested a kidney and sold it on the black market, he or she would go to prison. Our government got out a rusty crowbar, wrapped it in barbed wire and proceeded to arse fuck our future and our country so that they could gain a few bob yet, in full knowledge that they were painfully fucking us, the majority of Irish voters voted them back in. How’s that for masochism? Our government weren’t even really taken to court. Sure, there were many expensive tribunals which achieved nothing, but no prison sentences.
Sinn Fein supporters shout “VOTE SINN FEIN” but can’t really explain why we should.
Labour supporters shout “VOTE LABOUR - well, at least make sure we have a few ould seats” and their figures just don’t stack up.
The Green Party supporters shout “VOTE FOR WHOEVER YOU LIKE BUT GIVE US A FEW BECAUSE WE DON’T CARE WHO WE FORM A GOVERNMENT WITH! THINK ABOUT IT! JOHN GORMLEY AND ENDA KENNY! JENDA! WE’LL EVEN GO FOR CHRISTMAS No1, IF YOU LIKE”"
Fianna Fail supporters shout “LOOK, WE KNOW WE FUCKED UP BUT WE’VE CHANGED! PROMISE ” and some people will actually vote for them.
Fine Gael shout “WE’VE WON, NOW MAKE SURE THAT WE FORM A SINGLE PARTY GOVERNMENT” Now that is dangerous. We have seen coalitions collude in corruption for years, yet we want to let one party in to do whatever they like! It’s ridiculous.
What we need is a unity government who change our political system and hire professionals to deal with the economy, health, education and crime.
If you are not from Ireland, this is a pretty accurate description of the state we’re in and have been for years.