Captain Purplehead

Oh don’t break out the ticker tape and bunting yet, there’s life in the ol Cap’n yet. No, this post is about the ridiculous trade restriction that is closing time.
If you’re going to go on about irresponsible drinking or alcoholism, you’re reading the wrong post. If you live in a country where there is no closing time, you might find this of interest anyway.
Let me start by saying that, here in Limerick, our local authority is pretty much useless. We have a Mayor who insists on embarrassing himself – and, by association, us – every time someone sticks a microphone in his face. We have a small criminal element, that cheap, tabloid journalists like Donal McIntyre and others seem to think is the sum total of our city. All of this means that it has been left to individual, concerned people to make a concerted effort to put a more positive spin on things. The community that has risen to the challenge is none other than the artistic community.
I’m not going to go into everything that has been organised by them because that would be one long post but one thing that has definitely put Limerick more firmly on the map is the proliferation of original bands and venues who are prepared to run gigs for them.
Last Thursday night, there was a rich and varied choice of entertainment in Limerick. It is something we haven’t seen for a while and should have been embraced by those in authority. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of our bars and venues, the night was to end in embarrassment as the Gards – (the Irish Police) – were sent out in force to raid pubs, shortly after closing time. It wasn’t just that they came in and cleared all the bars of law-abiding citizens who had just enjoyed a few pints and a gig; they parked their estate cars across the roads, making it look like the city was on full riot alert. In doing this, they put hundreds of people on the streets at exactly the same time. Some of them were drunk, and the combination of crowds, inebriation and youth is potentially a powder keg combination.
Ok, their argument will be that it is technically illegal to be in licensed premises after 12 o’clock, unless that premises has paid big money for an exemption. They won’t talk about how these raids have only started happening on this scale very recently. They also won’t talk about the fact that one pub doesn’t get raided because some of their colleagues like to drink there. They won’t talk about the fact that the practice of raiding pubs is archaic, ridiculous and utterly moronic. They well quote the letter of the law. In reality, it’s probably just some little dictator who is trying to make a name for himself in our police farce. They are entitled to quote the law because that law exists. My point is that it really shouldn’t.
Why do we have a closing time? It is the greatest contributor to binge drinking that we have. If a pub wants to stay open until 4 in the morning, or whenever, why shouldn’t they be allowed to? Isn’t it really just a restriction of trade? Of course, our learned government Ministers will harp on about how we need to break our drinking culture for the good of our health. Invariably, the clergy will then be asked to chime in with their tuppence worth and they’ll go on about the destruction of the family and the absence of God and other such whimsical bullshit that they aren’t qualified to spout. In the end, it’s all bullshit!
If an alcoholic is going to stay out all night boozing, you’re just not going to be able to stop them. Maybe you have a better chance of simply refusing them at the bar, rather than let them go home, where there really is no closing time. Also, if they really want to get themselves good and tanked, they can go to the pub early in the morning. Surely it’s more damaging to society to have people falling out of pubs at six in the evening, rather than six in the morning, no? I mean, how many people would stay out until six in the morning anyway? It’s really not the point, in any case.
The pub trade in Ireland is in decline because of our thoroughly pummelled ecconomy. People don’t have the disposable income they once had. This has hit an already fraught industry quite hard. A pub opens early and closes early. Traditionally, they only other option is to go to a club or a late bar, which is still only licensed up to 2am, which is a bit ridiculous, really. What about those people who wouldn’t mind a quiet pint and a chat at 1 or 2am? Where do they go? I’ll tell you where a lot of them go. They go home and sometimes they go home with their mates and drink all night anyway. Therefore, drink isn’t the problem here because you can have a house party every night of the week and never go to bed, if you so wish. The pub has to close at a time when they would probably make more money than at any other time. We like to go out at night. That’s when people go out!
The government needs a bigger tax take to pay for its own criminality and ineptitude and that of their banker buddies, yet they put archaic, nanny-state policies in the way of trade. Trade = tax revenue! Apart from the obvious revenue stream, there’s the added bonus of more employment. More bar staff, more bouncers. Cab drivers making, and spending, more money, people being generally happier because they aren’t being hounded by little country boy sergeants with a Stormin Norman complex.
These pub raids cannot possibly be of any benefit to anyone except the man who bizarrely gets the credit for them. They cause bad feeling and put way too many people on the street at exactly the same time. This is what you get in Ireland though. We get idiots placed in to positions of power they really can’t handle. You see it in every level of society in this country. We are possessed of more than our fair share of idiots, dictators, God warriors, numpties and morons in this country. Someday it will change. I doubt that I’ll be around to see it but it has to come.

I have a big problem with people who keep going on about having a revolution and it is this: if you ask them what they will do, once the current government is ousted, they just say, “Jail the bankers”. Ok, fair enough, we’d all jail Fitzy, Fingers, Drumm, Bertie, Cowen and so on but what would you do to get the country back on its feet? The stock answer to that seems to be, “Um, well, my mate Mikey’s a fucking great economist”. The portents aren’t good.
Lately, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are fucked without some kind of revolution and here’s why. Our politicians are telling us that the austerity we’ve been forced into should start to ease around 2016 or so. Unfortunately, they tell us this because they constantly need to spin this yarn so it looks like they’re doing a good job, come election time. The reality is that we face a minimum of ten years of austerity because our politicians are more interested in PR than anything else. In fact, if you look at some figures, without some drastic overhaul of ours, the IMF’s and the EU’s recovery policies, we could still be facing austerity in 2040. We will continue to acquire debt that we can’t afford to repay. Yes, one would hope that something would give in the intervening 29 years, but this is Ireland and there’s no guarantee that we won’t happily take it up the arse ad infinitum.
As you know, there are people who are a lot better at writing about this shit than I am but I need point a few things out in order to make my point. Let’s take a look at Enda Kenny’s state of the nation address from early December. Remember, this was delivered before the budget. He started by stating the challenges faced by Ireland: to restore our economy, to create the environment of sustained jobs and to look after the most vulnerable people in our society. A lot of people, including this gullible pirate, watched that speech and said; maybe they’re finally going to go at the people who actually have money in this country. Maybe they’re going to make sure that the working class finally get a break. Maybe this is going to be a brave new world for Ireland. Ok, maybe I wasn’t that optimistic but I did hope. Of course when the budget came in, it did the exact opposite of what he laid out as challenges in his speech. Surely he has just lied through his teeth to us then. Surely we can legally call for him to stand down! Nah, we’ll just watch Corrie and pretend it never happened.
Our Taoiseach went to great pains to genuinely tell the people of Ireland that the economic mess isn’t their fault. “You did not cause this”. Yes, but we will pay for it, Enda. Meanwhile, he is paying ridiculous wages to his advisors and has reinstated the cronyism he swore so vehemently he would abolish when he was running for election.
Do we need a revolution? Yes, we most certainly do but it needs to be an intelligent, bloodless and well thought out revolution. Can that happen in this country? Probably not. Why can’t it happen in this country? Because, unfortunately we are top heavy with idiots. Yes, I said it; Irish people in general are fucking stupid. Tell the people that we are paying 3.6 billion next year to bondholders we absolutely do not and should not be paying and they say, “ah, for fuck’s sake”. Tell them they can’t hunt and brutally kill animals and they’re out on the streets protesting about how their “way of life” should be protected. Idiots! Think about that €3.6 billion. Think about how much more good could have been done in the budget, if we didn’t have to pay that.
We have bent over and said fuck me to Europe, when we should have said fuck you to a lot of what they demanded. Yeah, we need Europe right now but there were actions that should’ve been taken but weren’t and the status quo, for those at the top, remains completely unchanged, unchallenged and unbowed by the very obvious challenges faced by those of us at the bottom.
I’ll leave this with Enda Kenny’s state of the nation address. If you’re unfamiliar with the state of Ireland, please take my word for it. This is a staged outpouring of utter bullshit. We need to make a stand because the system doesn’t work. The system is unfair. The system is broken beyond repair and these fucking dickheads are trying to glue it back together with lies and ignorance. This current, broken system will never work again.

My friend who was verbally abused by Jim Long has decided not to pursue the matter any further as the office of Mayor is merely a ceremonial one and a position of absolutely no influence over budget. I am in disagreement here. I feel that, in the case of the sorry sorry state of Kate O’Brien’s house and the impending Mayoral visit to the Spanish town of Avila to attend a street naming ceremony in honour of Kate O’Brien, that it would have a bigger impact if this issue was pursued through the Mayor. I am, in fact, annoyed at my friend for not pursuing this further through the Mayor.
I am advised that he will continue his efforts to get Kate O’Brien’s house restored but that he will take no further action in pursuing an official apology from Mayor Jim Long for the abuse that was hurled at him. Well, at the risk of putting our putting our friendship under pressure, I am going to print the email exchange that went on between them. I will not name my friend, as he would then be able to make me take this conversation down. If you aren’t appalled that a Mayor of any shitty little hamlet, not to mind an important City like Limerick, could be capable of such juvenile behaviour, I fear you will never be appauled.
This is the email conversation that took place.
Concerned Citizen:
To whom it may concern,

Concerned Citizen:
I, on the other hand, will not let this go. As for discrediting you, I would first have needed to give you credit. I have only offered opinions, which is not against the law. You know you don’t have a case and, while it wouldn’t surprise me if you didn’t realise this, your legal team will already have told you this. Please send me the contact details of your legal team. This has now become a serious matter and I will not be letting it go. You couldn’t offer a mere apology to me. I am taking this public so I need to speak to your legal team to let them know of my exact intentions.
Concerned Citizen:
I am still awaiting contact details of your legal team. If you know anything about Irish law, you will know that I’m entitled to this information. Please don’t delay me with this information, I’m a very busy person.

So, let the chips fall where they may. This is a disgusting display of bully boy tactics and playground insults and this is the Mayor of Limerick City. Mayor Jim Long has now apologised to my friend, albeit in a very off-handed way, blaming pressure of being - and I quote, “racist ELY abused” - for his negative outbursts. Anyone reading this needs to get in touch with Minister Phil Hogan. There is no huge outlay of cash required to bring Kate O’Brien’s house back to it’s former glory and the community could be engaged to help. Indeed, I’m sure that quite a lot of our unemployed construction workers would be only too happy to help out.

I didn’t wish to go on blind faith that the stories I had heard of Mayor Jim Long’s aggressive and defensive nature were true so I decided to contact him myself. I contacted him, armed with a full understanding of the Derelict Sites Act of 1990, which gives the city council the right to contact the private owners of a derelict site and if, after a 14 day period of the issuance of notice, said owners have not acted accordingly, the council can then move on to the site, perform the necessary repairs and pursue the owners for the cost.
Mayor Jim Long’s first response to me was affable and friendly and he even included a startlingly brief document dating back to 2008, stating that contact had been made with the private owners of Kate O’Brien’s house. He suggested that they had had 3 years of negotiations which achieved nothing.
I thanked him for his reply and suggested that private ownership is not an impedement to the city council doing their work under section 10 - 30 of the Derelict Sites Act. It was at this point that Mayor Jim Long became decidedly antsy, leaving me with no recourse but to lodge a complaint with Minister Phil Hogan. Should I have no positive reaction to this complaint, I will have to take this to the local and national media of Ireland. Since this was my own coversation with Mayor Jim Long, under the moniker of Captain Purplehead, I am going to print it here word for word for you to read for your self and decide what kind of man our council has appointed as Mayor.
This is my opening mail:
Hello Mayor Long.
I have read several online posts about your upcoming visit to Spain to attend a ceremony where a street will be named in honour of one of our greatest daughters, Kate O’Brien. I am unsure how well versed you are in the importance of Kate O’Brien but I cannot hide my delight that she is being honoured in this fashion. Whilst I believe there should be representation, I believe you must be thoroughly ashamed of the fact that Kate O’Brien’s house has been allowed to slide into such a state of dereliction. I have conveyed my dismay at this, with accompanying photographs to the relevant local council in Spain and it is my fervent hope that you act on this immediately.
Mayor Long, you would be surprised at the amount of bad feeling that has been generated by this. I was surprised by the sheer volume of online articles alluding to this very subject. I am a Limerick son but I left many years ago. I’ve been home for a few weeks and I’m dismayed by some of what I’ve heard about Limerick city council. I must say that I’m also disappointed by your contribution to my home town. You and your fellow councillors do not appear to be in any rush to attend to vital work to cheer up our wonderful city.
I sincerely hope you listen to the public that you represent and see to the necessary repairs to Kate O’Brien’s house.

Yours sincerely,
J.P.

Mayor Jim Long came back with a very normal and friendly response:

Hi J.P. thank you for your email and your comments, firstly I am invited by the Irish/Spanish authorities as Mayor of Limerick, this would apply to any person who holds this office, I am honoured to be able to perform the Civic duties of Mayor in the naming of Kate O Brien Street in Avilla, I am a huge fan of hers for many years, yes you are correct her birth-place and home of her first five years is in a very bad state, I and at least seven other councillors have over the past six years being lobbying campaigning to have this property taken in charge and restored restored by Limerick City Council, I have received huge support front the City Manager, the Arts Council of Ireland, the O.P.W the department of environment, the Kate O Brien committee, and many others, I am in constant dialogue with Tom Quinilivan who acts as a mediator on a regular basis, NOW for the real facts of the issue you have raised, the owners of the property the Loyde brothers have being offered a sale price which was refused, many other options were/are before them for consideration ti resolve this matter, we as a council are engaged in a very lengthy process to act as the property is in PRIVATE ownership you should be aware that nobody/anybody can enter or carry out remedial works without the owners permission, having stated all the real facts I would be confident that this property can and will be preserved/restored as soon as the key players come to terms of rational thinking, as for the state of the inner core of my City, private ownership also plays a huge part of the problem but I am engaged with property developers investors trying to work around the ecominic downturn the very present recession and the uncertainty from the banks, I am enclosing an updated report from our property section to go some way in addressing your concerns, if you wish I can/will gladly meet with you any time you are in Limerick or maybe some hard suggestions that I can take on board. again thank you for your concerns. Jim

Mayor Jim Long was kind enough to provide the following information
Of BORU HOUSE/KATE O’BRIEN HOUSE

John Cregan
30.08.2011

“However, there are still a number of works still outstanding and there(?) are currently being followed up with the owners”. That is putting it mildly, to say the least. Since, in this document, the Council have admitted that the site is in dereliction, then why not use the full power of the Derelict Sites Act of 1990, which says: “Section 11(5) lets a LA (local authority) do the work:

(5) Where a person on whom a notice under this section has been served
does not, within the period specified in the notice or in the notice
as amended, as the case may be, comply with the requirements of the
notice, the local authority who served the notice may take such steps
(including entry on land by authorised persons in accordance with
section 30 ) as they consider reasonable and necessary to give effect
to the terms of the notice or the notice as amended, as the case may
be, and may recover any expense thereby incurred from the person on
whom the notice or the notice as amended, as the case may be, was
served and who is the owner or occupier as a simple contract debt in
any court of competent jurisdiction.

There is also no mention in the Mayor’s document to me that Kate O’Brien’s house is a protected structure, which it is. More reason for the City Council to go in and get this work done.

So I thought I’d point this out to Mayor Jim Long, along with some friendly advice.
Thank you for your response and I’m glad that some effort has been made. However, I believe that the Derelict Sites Act of 1990 could have been evoked more effectively. Surely there is no reason why this site remains in its awful current state. I may not live here anymore but I always take a great interest in my native city. The issue of private ownership is a non-runner when you consider the derelict sites act.
I’m sure you’re aware of section 10 of the derelict sites act of 1990 which not only allows you to take action in the case of Kate O’Briens house but states the the city council is obliged to take action. Words like “shall” are very specific legally. Eventhough I am an ex-pat, I am extremely coversant with Irish law. My suggestion therefore is for the city council to take this matter in hand and have a real start on work by the time you leave for Spain. This will certainly calm the wave of ill-will I have experienced.
Having said that, your reply to me was both pleasant and officious and I would humbly suggest that you use this approach to calm some of the, frankly, terrible feeling towards Limerick City Council and to you as Mayor. You have not shown me any reason to share that ill feeling but I have conversed with many people over the past two weeks about the City, its council and you as Mayor and there is a perception of you as an immoveable and boorish man. Again, I have no reason to share this view given our brief exchange but it is there. I hate to see this because for our city to move forward, we need unity. I firmly believe that once work starts on Kate O’Briens house, a start can also be made to repair the rift between the city council and quite a few of Limerick’s citizens. Thank you for your invite to meet but I will be leaving in two days and I won’t have time for that. In answer to your request for hard suggestions, I do not believe that there should be anything difficult about repairing the city council’s image in tandem with the repair of Kate O’Brien’s house. I would suggest a public meeting where all grievances can be aired in an open an honest exchange. Wonders can be achieved with light application of openness and sincerity.

Kind Regards,
J.P.

Quite pleasant and open, or so I thought. Mayor Jim Long must have thought otherwise because he immediately became defensive and even distanced himself from knowing anything about the process in his next reply to me. He even distanced the council from any responsibility regarding Kate O’Brien’s house. So you can see, during the course of our conversation, how he went from being a fan of Kate’s to saying her residence is just like any other house that goes into disrepair through neglect. Still no mention of the “protected structure” status of Kate O’Brien’s house.

Hi P.J. I relayed the real facts to you, maybe you can offer the City manager some free legal advise, as you have went about shooting the mesenger, I will however pass on your sentiments. I note that your reply like others makes NO effort in putting pressure on the owners where the real problem lies, would we live in a great Country where the local authority would move in on all vacant derelict irresponsible owner propirities do them up restore them and get a very thank you very much sir, perception of a situation dose NOT hide the real facts,Jim

At this response, I was well within my rights to let loose but I still held fire because, remember, the purpose of this is to get something done with Kate O’Brien’s house, not antagonise Mayor Jim Long. So I replied:

My apologies if my response came through as aggressive. It was not meant that way and I certainly didn`t expect such a hostile response. This now seems to coroborate what others have told me about their dealings with you. I have supplied you with facts, sir. I have provided you with an extract from the Derelict Site Act of 1990, by which you are bound. Yes, it would be great to put pressure on the owners but I don`t have their contact details. You are the first citizen of this city and, as such, should be someone I should be able to approach without fear of reproach. I honestly fear now that you are not and I am more than insulted by your response. I may no longer reside in Limerick but it is still in my heart. Surely the most important thing is that this historic site is preserved.
As for free legal advice, I believe I have given you that in my perusal of, and reference to, the aforementioned act. I will not continue with these mails to you as I don’t think you are someone who changes his position on anything. That, I fear, is an ailment that runs through Irish politics. I sincerely hope that on my next visit to my home town that I don’t have to look at an eyesore that should stand in proud remembrance of one of Limerick’s finest exports.
I do reserve my right to agree with those who have given, what is now clearly, accurate testimony of your staunchly defensive manner and to support them in any way I can.
Good day to you sir, and with the greatest respect I can muster, it is my fervent hope that the next incumbent is more approachable than you have been.

Mayor Jim Long, now clearly in full denial of the facts and of me as a relevant complainant simply replied.
Eye. Eye, Captain

This seemed to indicate an end to proceedings but, ever the one to get the last word in, I decided a few home truths and some advice on my future course of action.
You really are a petty man. I was hoping to help to get something done with Kate O’brien’s house but I’m clearly wasting my time talking to you about it. I should probably speak to someone who is actually capable of having a conversation. I must say, speaking to you has not helped matters and is not helping my high blood pressure, something that gave rise to the moniker to which you have just referred. I leave on Tuesday but I will be keeping a close eye on everything that is happening with Kate’s house. Since I have been met with bluster and nonsense from you, I will lodge my complaint directly with Minister Hogan and supply him with a full breakdown of the Derelict Site Act. This is the last mail I shall send you.

I was sure this was to be the last of it and promptly sent a complaint to Minister Phil Hogan about the state of Kate O’Brien’s house and the state of the current Mayor of Limerick City. I wasn’t expecting another response from Mayor Jim Long but he sent this:
AS you leave on Tuesday, I can meet you any time tomorrow between 9.30am and 5.30pm, I will request the file I will ask the property, environmental, and ma

Now, I haven’t curtailed that mail, that is how it arrived. I took it as a normal mail and sent this diplomatic response. I must admit that my first instinct was to tell him to fuck off but I have asked that people refrain from using abusive language in their dealings with him so I wasn’t about to start and it would have been counter-productive anyway. Here’s my response:
That is very kind of you, Mayor, but I won’t have time to meet you. I’m not sure, given your earlier comments, that it would be a particularly productive meeting. The Derelict Sites Act allows Limerick City Council to proceed in renovating and preserving Kate O’Brien’s house. This is something I’ve followed up with several friends of mine in the local legal profession. I’m genuinely at a loss as to why this hasn’t been acted upon already as you can act within 14 days of issuance of notice. I am aware that this is not your sole responsibility and that you may be coming in for some flack as you are the Mayor chosen to go to the street naming ceremony. Failure to act with the full power bestowed upon you by the aforementioned act is the responsibility of the entire Limerick City Council, not just you. Blame must also be staunchly apportioned to the people who own the property but it is now time to act.
Mayor, there is a massive groundswell of disgust at the state of Kate O’Brien’s house. It’s all people have talked to me about since I’ve been home. This passion may seem to you to be some kind of persecution of your office but I would suggest that you are better served conversing with these people than abusing them. I have seen a couple of different email conversations with people where you have become defensive and downright abusive and threatening. This I can understand, in a way, because I can imagine you are being bombarded with correspondence. However, a man holding office as high as yours needs to be far more diplomatic than you have been. This is just a suggestion and is in no way meant to be a slight on you as a person. This is a justified observation, given the evidence before me. My suggestion to you would be to contact all of the people who have emailed you about this, ask for a clean slate on all sides and meet with the purpose of pushing forward a resolution. It does not mean the Council goes around doing up every private house that has fallen into dereliction, as you have suggested earlier in our conversation. I would suggest that Kate O’Brien’s house should be considered more of a monument to someone who put us on the map in a very positive way. I have contacted Phil Hogan to see if there’s anything that can be done from his side.
Before I finish this mail, I will say that I’ve no interest in hearing anymore of your defensive comments. I am passionate about this subject to the point where I’ve spent much of my holidays in meetings with reputable engineers and solicitors, with whom I am acquainted,
to better understand what can be done in this instance.

Mayor Jim Long is more than welcome to comment on this site but I must advise that the administrators of this site claim absolutely no responsibility for the views of people replying to his comments. I will continue the fight to get something done with Kate O’Brien’s house because its lapse into dereliction is an embarrassment to Limerick City. Be under no illusion that Limerick City Council HAS the resources, both legal and actual, to deal with this. I think you can see from this conversation that they have no intention of doing so. So, again, I urge you to email the Mayor’s office respectfully and demand that they do something. Do not hurl abuse at him and do not enter into arguments with him. If you wish to post any responses you have received, put them in the comments section and I will paste them into the main part of this post.
Let’s make our local authority do their job!
UPDATE
Mayor Jim Long has responded to my last mail to wish me a safe trip home. I have no idea what calmed him down but I do appreciate the sentiment. I will reiterate that, should you contact the Mayor, please treat him with the respect his office deserves. If you are greeted with abuse, I’ll leave that up to yourselves. As for the comments asking me to publish the other email conversation, which I must tell you is a hundred times worse than the one above, it is out of my hands. I agree that any legal action from my friend would be pointless and I’ve told him this but, until he tells me I can go ahead, I must respect his trust. Further, if you are complaining Mayor Jim Long to Minister Hogan, please be professional, candid and polite in your approach. We are speaking for Limerick here and we don’t need to give anything other than a good impression.

Mayor of Limerick, Jim Long, is heading over to Spain to attend a street naming ceremony in honour of Limerick author, Kate O’Brien. Nothing particularly wrong with this. It’s good that there’s a representative from Limerick in attendance and that person should be the Mayor of Limerick. It shouldn’t, however, be Jim Long. I have been sent a transcript of an email conversation that one Limerick citizen had with Jim Long. It takes a lot to shock the ol Cap’n but the abject ignorance, stupidity, aggression, bullying and an alarming inability to spell on Jim Long’s behalf has left me a little slackjawed in surprise. But I’ll get to that in a while. Why bring up the Spanish visit? Well, the problem is that Kate O’Brien’s house here in Limerick has been allowed to fall into a shocking state of dereliction. It has been set on fire a few times and it is a monument to Limerick City Council’s apathy towards the City it is supposed to represent. If you were to challenge Jim Long on this subject, he will readily inform you that the house is privately owned and, therefore, outside the responsibility of Limerick City Council. This is, however, incorrect. Yes it is privately owned but it is NOT outside the responsibility of Limerick City Council.
Extract from Derelict Sites Act 1990.
10.—It shall be the duty of a local authority to take all reasonable
steps (including the exercise of any appropriate statutory powers) to
ensure that any land situate in their functional area does not become
or continue to be a derelict site.
There you go. How long has Kate O’Brien’s house been in this state? Years. Yep, Jim Long has passed by this derelict site regularly but, in fairness to him, probably didn’t know whose house it was. To an active and functioning City Council, this wouldn’t matter because they would have stepped in and made the necessary repairs. Here’s a picture of the current state of Kate O’Brien’s House.

Jim Long is proud to accept the invite of the Spanish local authority to attend the street naming ceremony in honour of Kate O’Brien but does not appear to care about the eyesore her house has become. Strange that. Well, not really. We’re used to such double standards from Limerick City Council. I will be posting further about this scandal but I’m going to keep this one brief.
The transcript of the email conversation that I have been sent is absolutely shocking. The Mayor of Limerick City hurled abuse that you would probably not hear from a schoolyard bully at someone who appears to simply want to ensure that local government is doing their job. I can’t currently print the contents of this conversation as there are legal proceedings in progress. I can assure you that, once I get clearance, it will be printed in its entirety. I will also be contacting the Mayor myself in the coming days to question him about what is going to happen with Kate O’Brien’s house. I’m going to dedicate my next few posts to this subject.
If you wish to contact the Mayor, his email address is available on the Limerick City Council website. I urge you to question Jim Long about his inactivity on this and other issues. I would also urge you not to use any foul or abusive language in your communication with him. Use facts. Do not level false accusations at him. If you have any pertinent evidence, that is completely different but you will only play into his hands by abusing him. He is quite abusive himself. Abusive and utterly childish. I can’t stress this enough; please use your communication with the Mayor cleverly and with respect. From the conversation I’ve viewed, he does not seem to be a particularly pleasant individual. He met intelligently worded emails with abuse and bullying. When this conversation is eventually published, you will not believe it. If you have had similar experiences with him, please send them on. Once verified, I will publish them. I’m reliably informed that several articles are already being drafted, waiting for the go ahead to print.

Ok, I feel that posting lupins in an earlier post worked in heading off those easliy offended from reading what lay beneath the picture. Unfortunately, today’s particular bug bear is a lot more potent than the previous one and so I feel that lupuns might not be sufficient distraction. To this end I’ve decided to go with chrysantemums. So, if you’re easily offended by aggressive, heartfelt, deep and varied profanity, I suggest you just take a look at these lovely flowers and then fuck off and read one of Ronan Keatings biographies or something. Follow that by a light lunch and a soak in a bubble bath before snuggling up to your favourite teddy bear and pretending everything’s ok with the world.

There you go. Now, if you’re still reading this after the very clear warning above… well, you’re a fucking moronic cunt, aren’t ya. There will be no more warnings.
Here’s a couple of perfectly acceptable jokes to illustrate the points I’m about to make:
Q. Why did the Paddy stick a screw driver in his eye?
A. Because he’s a thick Irish fucking cunt”.

An Irishman walks into a bar. The barman says, “Fuck off, you fucking Irish moron”.

Aghast, are you? Well you shouldn’t be. Ireland is now officially a fucking joke. Not just that, we’re intent on letting the world know that we’re thick fucking cunts.

The Queen recently visited Ireland and I’ve nothing against that. I wasn’t all that interested but I think it was a good thing. Nothing at all to say on that. Yes there were a few thick fucking cunts who protested but, what do you expect, they’re Irish. She spoke to us in Irish and she even ignored her doddering racist husband and all went well from a British point of view. What went wrong was when we decided to entertain her. Mary Byrne is an slightly above average pub singer but she’s not an artist and she doesn’t write her own material, yet she was chosen to entertain the Queen. Similarly, Westlife, who in any other country would have been reminded long before now that their fifteen annoying fucking minutes is well and truly fucking up, aren’t artists. They’re manufactured by the evil gimp, Louis Walsh and they too were chosen to entertain the Queen.
No big deal you might say, if you’re a thick Irish cunt. Y’know, you might be right. For all I know the Queen got a wet on for the lads, I don’t fucking know. Maybe she secretly listens to Cradle of Filth or Megadeath behind closed doors. That isn’t the point though. We had a chance to celebrate our creative culture but we decided to wheel out those who haven’t contributed anything whatsoever.
Ok, so Obama comes to visit. Now we must be reserving particular hatred for him because, in addition to Westlife, we are inflicting The Saw Doctors and Jedward on him and his wife. For fuck’s sake! What in the name of fuck is going on in this fucking country? Is that the impression we want to give the world? Representatives of the two countries who gave us the best popular music ever are treated to two fucking prancing clowns and a shower of fucking smarmy, plastic morons? Really? I mean what fucking arse reaming son of a bastarding cunt came up with that fucking idea? Ok, I don’t like the Saw Doctors but they could - and did - choose worse.
England gave us The Beatles, The Stones and so many other brilliant fucking bands and we give the fucking Jedward? There are actual artists in this country but it must have escaped our attention because we’re THICK FUCKING IRISH CUNTS!
America gave us so much more. Elvis, Johnny Cash, Hendrix and countless other musical lumiaries and we give them four preening fucking maggots singing covers of songs that Bette Midler covered? Is this really the best we could’ve done?
I don’t give a fucking toss about Obama’s politics or the pointlessness of the Queen; the eyes of the world have been on Ireland and what is the best we can come up with in terms of cultural entertainment? THICK IRISH FUCKING CUNTS!

Well, I don’t know what’s worse. A judge failing to tell her fellow judges that one of the contestants worked for her modelling agency, the fact that a nonsense person involved in a nonsense controversy makes a nonsense story in a nonsense newspaper or the fact that they give prizes for people who manage to dress themselves. I mean, fuck me, I’ve raised many an eyebrow in me pirate garb but nobody ever sent me on an all expenses paid trip to Dubai - not that I have any intention of visiting such a vulgar testament to opulence in close enough proximity to abject poverty.
So here’s the thing. Apparently horse racing and over priced clothing have always gone hand in hand. Y’see, in order for a man to watch horse racing in rainy old Ireland, he needs wellies, a sheepskin coat and a pair of binoculars. For a woman to go to the races she needs to wear high heels, expensive clothes and a totally fucking ridiculous hat. You can just bet that it was a lecherous old fat fucker that originally came up with this idea in the first place but it is now tradition for the more pointless and vacuous members of the female population go all out to get noticed. Is this the stealthiest form of sexism? I think it is. The men ogle the horses and the fillies, as it were. The horses have no choice in the matter but the women not only go along with this but they get dressed to the fucking nines and HAPPILY go along. You fucking go, SISTERS!! No matter how hot it gets, you’ll never see a burning bra at a horseracing event.
So my favourite old windbag, Celia Holman Lee apparently got herself in all kinds of hot water with a lie of omission. Apparently Lorraine Nolan dressed herself better than anyone else and her garbing talent was noticed by someone other than Celia and she was put forward for best dressed idiot, a prize she subsequently one. Now wily old Celia failed to mention that Miss Nolan worked for her modelling agency part time - (when she wasn’t coming up with cutting edge and exciting ways of dressing herself).
Is this newsworthy material? Maybe to the utterly pointless but to the rest of us, no it fucking isn’t. For fuck’s sake! What are we coming to? Alright, it was in the Irish Independent, that most pointless of fish n’ chip wrappers but fuck it. Surely there is enough news out there to write about. Look, here’s how it is. If you ever thought Celia Holman Lee had devoted her life to honesty, you’re as delusional as a fish who thinks it’s Elvis. Who fucking cares? Nothing she does is news worthy. Now, maybe if she came up with a cure for cancer or a tax system that allowed prosperity to be constant rather than cyclical, or she invented an alternative power source. If she even wrote a decent song or came up with a recipe for potent homemade beer or something. Maybe then she might be newsworthy but the fashion industry is pointless, facile and vulgar so why is it newsworthy? If you’re the world’s most dedicated moron without a single original thought and vocabulary that would fit on the back of a fucking stamp you can still make it in the fashion industry and I’m not just talking about Victoria Beckham. Now before you model types start leaving comments stating how this model and that model are the nicest people you’ve ever met and they regularly gather together in secret in an attempt to end world poverty and cure disease, I’m not saying you’re all stupid. I’m simply saying that it doesn’t take much in the way of intellect to make it in the fashion industry. There are countless fucking magazines dedicated to documenting, stalking, photographing and adoring the vacuous; do we really need our national newspapers to report on them too?

‘Thot’s jost graysh, Copton,’ spake the Dublin 4 gobshite before I made a map out of his face.
For the uninitiated amongst you, let me just advise that the aforementioned idiot was simply saying “That’s just great, Captain”. You see, Ireland has been divided for years. We have Northern Ireland, who are subjects of the Queen, The Republic of Ireland who are constantly being screwed by our government and Dublin who bow only to their own arse biscuits. Now, within the Republic of Dublin there is a sub-republic called Dublin 4. For my American friends, the fact that there is a digit after the name doesn’t mean that it should have a tag line. If Dublin 4 did have a tag line, it would read something like; “Dublin 4: Be aloof….. Be very aloof.”
Most Dubliners, in my experience, are ok but I’ve never met somebody from Dublin 4 that I liked or didn’t want to bludgeon to death with their own severed arm. Yes, Dublin is a violent place but they have the Irish Independent to deflect all the bad publicity towards Limerick so they can sleep easier in their beds. Dublin 4, however, is beyond saving.
Are they Irish? Well, as their republic is contained within the Island of Ireland, I suppose they are Irish by proxy but, essentially, nobody really knows where they’re from. Whilst their geographical location is indeed within this island, their accent seems to suggest that they come from somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic - and we wish they’d fuck off back there.
It seems like the founding fathers of the sub-republic of Dublin 4 tried hard to cultivate an accent and, indeed a language, of their own. For instance, where a normal Irish person would say, “I went down to the pub last night and got a bit pissed”; the Dublin 4 translation would be, “Oi, loike wont doon to loyson stroyt lawst noish and, loike, gosh toodally woystod, mon.”
I think you see the difficulty that we have with Dublin 4 - or do you? Y’see it goes much deeper than the language barrier. I don’t mind people who stick strictly to their own heritage but the fact is that Dublin 4 people are generally annoying. Now, I don’t mind annoying people if they keep to themselves but Dublin 4 people like to get right in your face. You could be having a normal conversation with your friends in a pub and next thing you know there’s a Dublin 4ian saying, “Moiself ond moi fronds wor jost lostening to your convorsoyshun, thur and I hov to soy thosh I comploytly dosugree”. A blow to the bridge of the nose normally sorts these pests out but, after a while, it gets really annoying. I mean, how many broken limbs does it take before they get the message?
I’m generally a live and let live kind of pirate. If you don’t step on my toes, I won’t pummel you with a piece of furniture. I’m not generally xenophobic or racist and I believe in giving people a chance but, when it comes to Dublin 4ians, I’m at a loss. I’ve tried to be understanding. I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve tried to approach each encounter with a 4ian in a diplomatic fashion but my endeavours in this regard have led me to one irrefutable conclusion……. Dublin 4ians are cunts. There, I said it. It’s not that they’re particularly violent. I mean, even if they were, they’re genetically predisposed to be utter crap at it. It’s not that they are trying to take over the world. They’re just…… cunts. I can’t say it any other way. It’s a word I seldom use but I can’t allot any other description to them and do them justice.
If anyone has any other description I could use, please let me know. If there is the merest saving grace amongst Dublin 4ians, give me a shout. I really don’t want to be known as the person who labelled an entire sub-republic cunts but I can’t seem to put it any other way.

[Content removed due to breach of terms -> Defamatory content]

It’s funny the way things go. Days after making the ludicrous claim on Sky Sports News that his time in charge of the Irish team was a success, Steve Staunton takes the post of assistant manager of Leeds. This also puts into stark relief the inanity of his appointment as Irish manager. Are we saying that the level we require is that of an assistant manager at a third division club?
Trappatoni is now in the frame for to succeed Stan and, though I would never question the managerial record of the great man, I sincerely question his passion for the role of Ireland. Firstly, he is seventy on his next birthday and has barely a word of English. Ok, I know that Stan had very little English but we should be looking to improve the lines of communication between manager and playing staff. His only other experience of international management came as manager of Italy during the 2002 World Cup. He was sacked after their exit at the hands of South Korea. Of course, we should look at that as a political exit as they had 3 goals disallowed in that match so that the co-hosts could go as far as possible in the competition.
Right, why are we suddenly singing the name of Giovanni Trappatoni? I’m not going to go through what is a glowing CV as far as club management is concerned because everyone can use Google these days but I will say that I don’t agree that he should be our manager. The man is at the very end of his career and he’s simply picking up another pay packet. Like Venables, I can’t see him having any passion for the job. I don’t think he’d be quite the disaster that Venables would be but he’s not going to give us the long term stability we need. We need young, hands on manager who won’t suffer egos or fools - normally the same thing - easily. We need a no-nonsense manager who won’t be afraid to tell the criminally inept FAI to keep their noses out of his affairs and won’t be afraid to strip Robbie Keane of the captaincy. In fact, he shouldn’t be afraid to drop Robbie if his poor international form continues. It is for these reasons that the likes of Venables and Trappatoni should not be considered for the Irish job.
I really doubt that we’re going to find any stability given the corruption that is rife within the FAI but we shouldn’t stop criticising Delaney and his clowns.