God is a D.J.
Ok, I’m going to get it in the neck for this but all I ask is that you read and get the point of this post. If you gloss over this and miss the point, I will exercise my right to call you a blithering moron. Ok, so you’ve been warned so I have prefaced this enough.
Right, I will be the first to admit that there are some great D.Js out there who are both talented, intelligent and musical. This post is NOT about my hatred of D.Js. Indeed, in our great City of Limerick, there are a few whose gigs I like attending. People like John Greenwood, Phil Wade and Paul Tarpy make an effort to be original and different and show an aptitude and understanding of music. No problem with those guys, and I’m sure I’ve left loads out. My problem is not even with the proliferation of D.Js going around the place. No, my problem is with the attitudes of some of these fuckers.
Look, just because you’re outgoing, moody, thin, want to be a part of the artistic community and own a laptop does not qualify you to be a D.J. Yeah, you might get a lot of your mates to the pub to listen to you mix Beyonce with Stevie Wonder but that doesn’t mean you’re any good. If you don’t understand music, you’ve no business trying to play a part in any musical genre. And, should you meet any actual musicians whilst bluffing an apathetic public, you should pay them some respect and not look down your fucking bony, fucking nose at them simply because you believe you, and only you, are privy to the secret of the perfect mix. Ok, if it’s someone pretending to be a musician but really just plays cheesy covers, accompanied by a rack of midi files, then say what you want to them but always remember, you’re no better than those fuckers.
These fucking wannabe D.Js just love to be aloof and utterly obnoxious because they weren’t silly enough to actually learn how to play an instrument. Perish the thought that they’d even write a piece of music. Nah, they’ll just download some free software and mix other peoples music and call it fucking art. Now, this is where it gets a little confusing because I’m not saying that good D.Js are incapable of being artistic. Indeed, I’ve heard some mixes of old 20’s music, given a more expansive beat, mixed with Led Zepplin and thought, “fuck me, that was fucking inspired”. It is a medium that can be extremely creative and artistic but, unfortunately, all too often isn’t. I’ve no real problem with the stuff that isn’t all that creative. My problem resides with the attitude that accompanies some of these fuckers.
Artistic people are mostly generous people, who never look down their noses at anyone. In fact, the best artists, musically or otherwise, never feel that they’ve reached a stage where they’ve nothing to learn or prove. They will look at people that may not be as proficient as they are and still see something that they can learn.
Look, any more of this and I’ll end up repeating myself. Just think of this. You may have a fucking great taste in music. You may want to be cooler than the coolest person you’ve ever met. You may think the world owes you a fucking favour and some adulation, but you’re wrong. You are owed nothing. If you haven’t invested the time to, at the very least, understand music, then don’t fucking perform in public and act like you’ve got it all cracked. I’m going to say this and I’m going to get castigated for it but, in my experience, most D.Js are fucking bluffers. Stop looking down at people who actually went to the trouble of learning an instrument! You don’t have to like what they do and they don’t have to like what you do. It’s a short fucking life. Try to spend five seconds of it with your heads removed from your own fucking arses!
In the meantime, if you want to see some real fucking D.Js, check out Dr John’s on Thomas Street in Limerick or Mickey’s in Augustinian Lane. There, nuff said.
