Captain Purplehead

Yep, it’s that simple and there are a variety of reasons for it. Hopefully this will be a short enough post. I’m not going to go into some conspiracy theory fuelled rant; I’m simply going to give you the facts as I see them and my reasons for this bleak statement.
Ok, firstly there’s the financial situation. A lot of greedy cunts took a lot of stupid gambles and, while they retain their opulent standards, we have to pick up the bill for their utter idiocy and greed. The reason this doesn’t change is not because we must rely on people to fix the economy but because we have to rely on the same thick, arse reaming, fucking morons who broke it in the first place. Look at it this way:
You bring your car to a mechanic, citing problems with the brakes.
The mechanic gives you back your car and tells you he’s not only fixed it but he has improved the whole braking system. To be sure of this, he passed it by his boss to quality check his work and he signed it off as fucking perfect and the mechanic got a big juicy raise and a bonus for a job well done.
Later that day, you are travelling right on the speed limit when a truck jack-knifes ahead of you. You have plenty of time to stop so you apply your new improved braking system but it fails utterly and you lose an arm and a leg in the resultant crash.
Do you go back to that mechanic and ask him to fix it again or do you report him, his boss and the entire company for criminal fucking negligence?
If we follow this analogy to its conclusion, the mechanic, his boss and his company get a cash injection from the government and you get to pay back investors who gambled on the competence of the company. You also get to pay for the truck you crashed into after you’ve cleaned up the mess from the wreckage.
Are we fucked? Are you with me yet?

So, ok, that’s nothing new. We all know we’re fucked financially. We all know we’ll continue to be fucked by our leaders. But we’re fucked in a whole different way too.
If some fucking nutjob Islamic fundamentalist wants to prove a point, he will normally blow up a lot of innocent people who he considers to be infidels. Yep, you guessed it, it’s us.
If some fucking nutjob, Christian fundamentalist wants to prove a point to Islamic fundamentalists, he blows up and shoots people who he considers responsible for inviting too many cultures, including Muslims, into the west. Yep, you guessed it, it’s us again!

We can’t fucking win!

What have the Foo Fighters, Coldplay, Primal Scream, Imelda May, Fun Loving Criminals, Beyoncé, Slash, Eels and Two Door Cinema Club got in common?
Anyone?
Yeah, they all made it because they have talent but that’s not the answer I’m looking for.
No?
Do you give up?
Ok, they all get to play at the same festival as Amanda Brunker.
Who?
Ok, well here’s a brief synopsis of her career to date. She is a former Miss Ireland, who became fat, became a spokesperson for curvy women, slimmed down, became a slimming expert, had sex, became a sex therapist, had two kids, became a an expert on motherhood, got married, became a marriage counsellor, read a recipe for cornflakes, became an author, recovered from a particularly nasty bout of the sniffles, became a doctor and now, after hearing herself sing in the shower, she has become a singer. Yep, she didn’t need a lifelong passion for music to drive her to learn the craft and begin the long journey that leads one to play at a major festival. Nope, she just sent her buddy Denis Desmond an email and asked if she could sing a few covers at the biggest music festival in Ireland.
Who?
Oh Denis Desmond is a Cork lad who arranged gigs in college and now runs the biggest event promotion business in Ireland. He’s the guy who thought it would be a good idea to put Jedward on the bill to play for President Obama. In short, he’s a fucking gobshite.
But back to Amanda. Here’s Amanda doing what she does better than all her self-proclaimed professions; being a vacuous fucking nonce:

Yeah, she’s a twat alright. She had this to say about her upcoming performance: “I know people think this is a joke, but it is not at all,” Brunker said. “We’re definitely on. There is no backing out of it as this stage. I’ve started as I mean to go on. It’s quite terrifying.”
Yes, it is terrifying, Amanda. I fear greatly for the future of music in this land, blessed with an abundance of talented bands who will forever go undiscovered because of idiots like you, Denis Desmond and Louis fucking Walsh.
When pushed about the fact that her inclusion on the bill of the Oxygen festival is the ultimate travesty, she had this to say:
“Why shouldn’t I get a chance?” retorted Brunker. “As far as I’m concerned, there are always people out there who want to have a go. At the end of the day I don’t like to just talk about doing things. I like to go out and do things. I believe there are limitless possibilities of what we can be and this was on the list. What little girl hasn’t dreamed of being a pop star?”
Why shouldn’t you get a chance? Hhmmmm, let me see. Oh, ok, well you’re a fucking talentless knob polisher who hasn’t put in the time, energy and devotion it takes to be an artist. You shouldn’t get a chance because there are actually talented people out there who could have benefitted hugely from the slot you have usurped. Oh, and let me just add this; fucking wagon!
“At the end of the day I don’t like to just talk about things, I like to go out and do things”. Ok, well fair fucks to you, you jizz-guzzling slapper. There are a lot of bands who don’t just talk about making great, original music, they go out and do it but don’t get the chance to play at Oxygen.
“What little girl hasn’t dreamed of being a pop star?” Fair point, you vacuous little cunt. Yeah, a lot of girls have dreamed of being a pop star but, when they figured out they didn’t have any talent, went on to become something else. Those that did, went to the trouble of learning their craft.
What is fucking happening to this country? This snivelling little fucking swine just waves her tits at Denis Desmond, he whacks one out after saying yes to her ridiculous request.
Unfortunately, when one espouses an opinion as I just have, they are accused of jealousy and sour grapes. It is neither. Music is precious. It is a gift that has been exploited, raped and destroyed by greedy little fucking pricks, out to make a quick buck. This is another major embarrassment for Ireland.
So here’s a video from a band that aren’t playing at Oxygen but should be.

Ok, so the stupid twat went ahead with her shambolic performance at Oxygen, denying someone with actual talent. She has even acknowledged that she agreed with bands who protested about this. The fact that she went ahead with it just means that she is lacking just as much in integrity as she is in talent. Here’s her performance, during which she ably demonstrates her lack of range, melody and timing.