Tiger Cubs.
As the government continue to bail out the likes of Anglo, they are making incredibly ridiculous laws to bleed more money out of the taxpayer. The latest joke is that you have to register your car, van or jeep if it is to be used as a commercial vehicle. If, after registering said vehicle, you are caught bringing your kids to school in it, you could face a heavy fine or even jail. Of course, being Ireland, if you rape or murder someone whilst in transit, you’ll probably get away with a suspended sentence and a free house in the suburbs.
John Gormless, of the Green Party has advocated this new law because, well, he’s a fucking tosspot. He’s living, breathing proof that we elect idiots. Of course, The Green Party will shortly cease to exist because they have made such a monumental bollox of things but this is not the point of this post. This post is about our new public. The offspring of the, now decomposed, Celtic Tiger. They are the Tiger cubs.
There are far too many people in this country who have only experienced the good times. “What, like, you, like totally couldn’t have, like, bought a BMW for your, like, kid’s confirmation back in the, like, 70’s and 80’s?” These same people certainly understand how ridiculous the government is - (I mean, there are discarded banana peels that can see that) - but they think that everything will work out ok in the end. They don’t see that, the aforementioned law has been dramatically flouted by our own minister for transport, Noel Dempsey who recently used the government jet to fly to Donegal for a nonsense conference and had his driver drive to Donegal to pick him up and bring him from the airport to the conference. So the car was going up there anyway so why the fuck did he need the jet? Because he’s an insufferable knob, that’s why. Ok, he didn’t bring his kids to school in the jet but it’s pretty disgraceful.
“Coooooll, they like totally have their own jet?”
Let me make this perfectly clear; this country is fucked. To put it in words the new public can understand. We are, like, totally, like, boned. Fianna Fail have sucked this country dry, pretty much since the formation of the state and now we are well, truly, completely and, like, totally fucked. They have not finished bailing out the banks and they WILL NOT call a general election because surely, I mean, surely this is their last chance of being in government. We wouldn’t vote them back in again, would we?
“Well, like, my father and, like, his father and like all the guys back through my family tree, like totally voted Fianna Fail so I gotta, like, vote from them again, like, y’know?”
Alright, before I explode in a black cloud of undiluted rage, let me point a couple of things out to the Tiger Cubs.
You are not legally entitled to the nice, comfortable life you lead. There will come a point when you are out of work because there is no work and you will not be able to pay your mortgage and car repayments. There will be a fugue of depression from which you will not be able to extricate yourself and, at the time you most need it, you will not be able to afford a holiday. None of this will have been directly self inflicted, it will be inflicted upon you by the government you fucking voted for. Actually, in a way, it will be your fucking fault. And all of this to bail out people who greased their palms so that certain “regulations” might be forgotten about.
Not that regulations ever get forgotten when this country is in recession! Oh fuck, no! Y’see, previously invisible regulatory bodies, who used to pick up their fat wages by sitting around in their government office playing fucking jenga, now have to justify their existence. If they are seen to be superfluous, they may very well have to be paid off and go on the dole. They didn’t ask their father or mother or uncle or aunt or cousin or best friend’s fuck buddy to get them a government job, just to have it cruelly yanked away from them. Ok, it means they have to do a bit of work but, hey, shit happens, right? In order to remain in the job that nepotism made possible, they go around to small business and check if they are meeting every regulation. Yeah, they could just go back to the office and say, “Everyone seems to be doing their best”, but how would that justify their pointless jobs? No, they need to close down a few business. But then, the feeling of power takes over and they close down everything they see.
“I want to see your books by tomorrow”.
“But my accountant isn’t around tomorrow. Can I have a couple of days?”
“No, fuck you, I don’t have time to be waiting around for you. I’m shutting you down.”
“This kitchen is too small.”
“SORRY. I COULDN’T HEAR YOU. COULD YOU COME OVER TO THIS WING OF THE KITCHEN!”
“I said, this kitchen is too small. I’m shutting you down.”
“But I employ 12 people who pay taxes?”
“You should have thought of that before building this POKEY LITTLE KITCHEN…. ITCHEN…Itchen… itchen!”
“Your hair is the wrong colour”.
“But I’m a mechanic, what does my hair colour have to do with anything?”
“DON’T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!. I’m shutting you down”.
These happy little Hitler fucks are putting an awful lot of people on the dole, meaning us working slobs have to pay even more money because the pool is getting smaller. These small businesses go under the radar. They don’t make then news.
“WOWZERS! Do they, like, totally, like, get to wear a badge?”
I could go on at length about how corrupt and incompetent this country is but it’s not going to make a difference. Willy Liar O’Dea will probably double poll next time out. Fianna Fail will probably go into another coalition government and continue their hatchet job on us and generations to come because little fucking moron fucking Tiger Cubs don’t think there’s any danger. Well, dickheads, here there be Tygers!
