Captain Purplehead

We have spoken about the travesty that is our government and their ability to become the best paid failures in the world. We have spoken about their inability to deal with the problems that face everyone but them every day. I have spoken about the reticence of the Gards and now I know that they really don’t give a fuck about anything but their interest-free mortgages and their love of fast food.
I was robbed tonight. I was robbed in full view of a parked police car. I went to an ATM to withdraw enough money to pay a bill - yes even Pirates have bills - and some fucking idiotic, but amazingly quick - brainless scumbag, took the money from my hand as I received it from the drink-link.
I could have run after him if I had been fit but I’m sadly not. I tried to run after him and noticed that there was a Gard car parked in front of a fast-food restaurant across the road. Lacking the pace to catch up with the aforementioned lowlife, I decided to rouse the police force - whose wages I pay - into action.
“Did you have the money in your hand?” asked one Gard through a mouthful of burger.
“Yes,” I replied, “for around two seconds.”
“You were capuhbngoiauh,” replied the other useless piece of shit….. I mean, Garda
“What?” I implored.
“Well you’ve got to be more careful,” he responded, whilst trying to digest his food. “Did you see where he went?”
Finally, a question that I could answer without wanting to kick the burgers back their throats.
“He ran towards the halting site over there,” I replied.
Both Gards chuckled before one of them said, “Good luck with that. We’re not going near there.”
I can’t say I blame them for that. I have just had four hundred Euro stolen from me and I wouldn’t go near there because I know I’d be lucky to survive the visit - and I’m not all that lucky. I don’t blame them for that at all but here’s the crazy bit:
I asked them about their wage increase. I asked them if they gave a fuck about keeping the peace. I asked them if there was any hope for a self-respecting. tax-paying member of the community to get any justice in a country whose Prime Minister is the best paid Prime Minister in the world. Knob one asked me to step away and behave myself and that’s when I lost it. I was standing about a metre - or three feet for my American friends - away from these two clowns and they still felt threatened by someone who was simply reporting a crime.
How did it finish? I was cautioned as to my future conduct. I replied by telling Knob two that, if they consider my behaviour to be in any way criminal, it pales in comparison to the lack of crime fighting behaviour from the very people on whom we are supposed to rely for such things. Ok, I didn’t put it that politely. As a result of my plea for help with a crime to which they were witness, I have to pay a fine. I’m not going to pay the fine and I’ve told them as much. Why should I pay a fine for being aggrieved at the lack of interest from a police farce who witnessed a crime being perpetrated against me and decided that they were too peckish to do anything about it?
This is what we vote for. We have a corrupt government and a useless police force. We pay through the arse for our houses, while criminals get free houses. Ireland is a shithole. Ireland is corrupt. Ireland has developed terminal cancer and there is nothing you will do about it.
“Oh of course you blame the itinerants….”
No I don’t. All I know is that one of them robbed me. There has been more money spent on housing them that has been spent on repairing the health service. I’m not saying they’re all bad but most of them are fucking criminals because they’re allowed to get away with it. I’m not even allowed to get away with reporting a crime, perpetrated by a traveller. Here’s the thing. I’m not being racist because they - unfortunately - belong to the same race. I’m simply saying, don’t take away their right to be fucking dickheads. I will give someone a chance if they deserve it but the fucker who robbed me doesn’t deserve a fucking thing. He gets free everything and pays for nothing.
Having said that, I don’t blame him. I blame the two fucking monkeys who decided to do fuck all about it.