Perverts!!
Well, I knew that my name would have certain sexual connotations but I honestly thought that it would work as the title of a blog. I have had an exceptional month as far as hit-rate is concerned so I looked at the dashboard of this site to check what referrals were coming in.
Whilst most were thankfully looking for this blog, others were looking for something else entirely. Here’s a selection of some of the search text that was entered into google. How they came to my site is beyond me but the dashboard doesn’t lie.
“Tasty girls with big dicks.”
“Talk dirty to me.” I’d imagine that this is Laurie Pycroft finally trying to take his relationship with his pc to the next level.
“Cavan girls seeking sex.”
“Dirty romance” ?????????????????????????????????????
“Mature porn anal” Now is that someone looking for a mature kind of well-organised porn or is he looking for grannies. Either way; SEEK HELP!!!
“People fucking animals.” Go and castrate yourselves right now, you sick fuckers!!
Well, the upshot of this is that I’m going to have to change the name of this blog. I won’t do it straight away but I’ll be doing it soon. I will happily take suggestions from anyone who isn’t currently looking at their monitor while wearing a gimp mask, with a golf ball strapped to their mouth and a stapler anticipatorily poised over their nut sack. I’m thinking of using the name that most of you use for me, Cap’n P, but you just never know what these deviant little fuckers look for. I mean, lets face it; almost anything can be given a sexual connotation now. For instance, you could say something as innocent as, “I went cycling through the forest yesterday and it was lovely”, but your average pervert will say, “PPHHWWWOOAARRRR, I went cycling - nudge nudge wink wink - through her forest yesterday and it was PPHHWWWOOAARRRR lovely”. Nothing is safe with these fuckers. “PPHHWWWOOAARRRR, I’d love to crack that safe - nudge nudge wink wink” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!
Whilst it is somewhat gratifying to think of their abject disappointment when they find that their search has brought them to me, how can I be sure that there isn’t some fucker out there with a pirate fetish? So, leave your suggestions in the comments section or don’t. Either way, I’m going to have to change the name of this blog soon to stop the monkey stranglers from happening upon the Thirsty Kipper. “PPHHWWWOOAARRRR, I’ll give that kipper something to dr…” STOP IT!! Ok, in a previous job, I had to employ the use of a Bezemer Converter. “PPHHWWWOOAARRRR… she’s got… ahem… a fine set of …. b…bezemer converters on her… heh heh.” O for fuck’s sake!!
The one thing I will say about these guys is that they have put paid to the old adage that men can’t multitask. They can obviously wank and move the mouse at the same time.
Whilst you’re at why not throw in a promotion? Rear Admiral Purpledhead…. oh wait?
Comment by Guy Incognito — June 22, 2007 @ 11:37 am
Y’see? If I was more into aviation, I could call myself tail gunner purplehead but… no. No that won’t do at all.
Comment by Administrator — June 22, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Hi Cap’n
Sorry to hear you are changing the name of your blog… I doubt that the name of your blog has anything to do with the hits you are getting from dubious search engine terms. It’s more probable that snippets from your pages contain words like people + fucking + animals. Even if someone encloses a search term in quotes ie “people fucking animals” there may be a page on your blog where you said something like “what’s the matter with these people. FUCKING ANIMALS!” Google will pick up the last three words and rate the page high in a search for those three words.
Unless you really do want to change your blog name I’d not bother because you will still get the search engine rating for those terms.
Debs
Comment by Debbie — June 23, 2007 @ 8:20 am
Debs, I may be an idiot because I never thought of that. Thanks. You are, as usual, a beacon of sense.
Comment by Administrator — June 23, 2007 @ 9:37 am