I have just come around from the shock of seeing one of the worst FA Cup finals in living memory. I thought that the Villa - Chelsea game was bad but the final I’ve just seen was, well, horrendous. Chelsea and United are two teams who should now be suspended from further participation in this competition until such time as they can take it seriously. We know already that United found the World Club Championships more important. A pissy little fucking tournament that nobody watches. I am a Villa fan and I can honestly say that I’m slightly relieved that the mantle of worst FA Cup Final Ever will now slip from the last one in which we were involved to be firmly placed on the fiasco I have just had the misfortune to watch. I will now list five things that I would have been better off doing with my time.
1. Counting how many times I exhale in a minute.
2. Painting something - such as my TV screen - and then watching the paint dry.
3. Seeing how long it will take me to go completely bald by plucking every hair on my head.
4. Shaving my tongue.
5. Just about anything other than watching this fucking match.
And these are supposedly the best two teams in the most competitive league in the world? Hopefully next year we’ll see an Aston Villa - Arsenal final.