Tossers!!!
Is it just me or has the tosser rate increased exponentially in the last few years? I mean, under normal circumstances, you would expect to have a small number of tossers because that’s just the way it is but Ireland’s tosser quota seems to have gone through the fucking roof recently. Fucking tossers! Ronan Keating, Brian Kennedy, Westlife, Louis Walsh, Linda Martin, Twink, Marty Whelan, Pat Kenny, George Hamilton, Bertie Ahern - in fact, almost every RTE presenter and the entire population of politicians - Graham Norton… the list is fucking endless. FUCKING TOSSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that’s just the celebrity tossers. Ireland as a whole - as opposed to hole - is full of fucking tossers. It used to be that you could go a month without meeting a tosser but, these days, you’re bound to meet one if you leave your house. In fact, as an experiment, I ducked out for literally five seconds and what do you think happened? That’s right; I met a fucking tosser. I literally walked out of my front door for five seconds - strictly in the interests of science - and I heard a very annoying, mid-Atlantic accent calling, “Hoi Copton” This was a fucking forty year old, done up like fitty cent. Fucking tosser! Do these people actually believe that this accent is cool? I can tell you it’s like so like totally like annoying y’knnneewwww? Tossers ! Fucking tossers the whole wretched fucking lot of them. What has happened to us? Why is everyone turning into a tosser? Every fucking second tosser you meet is a tosser. You buy a CD by a shower of tossers and, when you go to the counter to pay for it, there’s a tosser appraising your purchase disapprovingly because it’s not some obscure German band called Der Tozzerz. You go to a gig and a tosser in a black suit looks you up and down before you go in. You turn on your T.V and there’s George W - now there’s a fucking tosser if there ever was one.
We need to ditch the idea that we are now an enlightened nation and actually spend some time enlightening ourselves. This country is full of racist and xenophobic tossers for one thing. Every country in the world has an Irish population in it but we blow a fucking fuse when foreign nationals take up residence here. While they are bringing a diverse and, for the most part, healthy cultural diversity to our country, we are busying ourselves trying to sound more like Americans. Every young band seems to want to be Greenday. There’s nothing wrong with Greenday. They’re an American band, performing songs written about their own experiences. We are Irish people and, therefore, should sing about what we know and in our own accents. Fucking tossers!!!
It’s not just you.It’s a highly worrying trend and it’s only going to get worse.I was on a quick trip home to Limerick last year and was appalled by a formation of said tossers ambling in their knuckle dragging way up William St.A mode of locomotion much complicated by unfeasibly large trousers,a stereo and more Burberry baseball caps than I had ammo for.
Action must be taken.The rack,wheel and gibbet need to be reinstated and placed in certain key entry points to the city.Examples must be made in a very messy,noisy and ,above all,public way.
Comment by The Hangar Queen — February 2, 2007 @ 8:22 am
Bravo, your majesty. Yes, finally someone recognises the importance of tosser disposal.
Comment by Administrator — February 2, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
I’m with you ALL on this one. And, to placate you a little if I may, not that Limerick is any better, but it could be FAR worse… You could live in Dublin like me!! Not only to the tossers fill the cracks in the pavement under my feet (if only I could keep them there), they have the tenacity to ring my doorbell at 3am wondering if I can let them in because
“me moh’ fuked me ou’ an’ I wantta ring de cops on’er…”
“Eh, kindly fuck off away from my door!?”
“Ah cmon buddy…”
“Let me stop you right there and tell you I am not, nor do I have the desire to be, your buddy”
“YER A FUKIN KUNTIN FUKIN… boo boo boo boo” (I hung up).
Then there’s the never ending torrent of abuse on the street outside which invariably ends up with my calling the local constabulary who take their sweet time to arrive and deal with this gobshite so by the time I’m getting back down to bed it’s 5am…
I say put ‘em all on a big lead hulled ship, pointing towards Lanzarote with a small hole in the bottom that no one will notice till 200 miles off the coast of Spain when they’re all underwater…
Comment by tady — February 4, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
FUCKING TOSSERS I WANT THEM DEAD! THE SCUM BENEATH THE SEWERS KILL THEM ALL!!! WAAAAAAAGH!!!
Comment by gogofalagoontamakeekolawoowapirpaganiggamoontayamah! — March 26, 2008 @ 10:15 pm